A Christmas Story

It doesn't get much better than this: the day before Christmas, a gentle snow falling outside, a mug of hot spiced cider and Denny in the kitchen making apple crisp to take to the reception following Christmas Eve Mass ....

Meanwhile I'm thinking of something that happened a year ago while I was shopping at Macy's for a gift for my dad. It was one of those chance encounters with a stranger and I've been thinking about it ever since because it's a good reminder that sometimes even the things we tell ourselves we don't like about the Christmas season can turn out to be just as significant as the things we do.

Usually I avoid the big shopping malls and department stores because I can't stand the overpriced, mass-produced sameness of what's found there along with the glitzy kitchiness of the decor, the crowded lines of irritable frazzled shoppers, the canned Christmas music and everything else that contributes to what usually ends up being a wasted couple of hours.

But I had gone shopping at Macy's because I had run out of ideas. I used to enjoy coming with special gifts for my dad. But that was back in the days before he began disappearing into wherever he has gone now that dementia has carried him away. He's turning into someone it breaks my heart to see. And trying to find a Christmas present for him had become an ordeal. I'd run out of ideas and so in desperation I decided to give up and buy him a sweater.

The men's department at Macy's was crowded with shoppers including a young woman with purple spiked hair and pierced studs in her eyebrows, nose and lips. She was wearing black fishnet stockings under a very short, very tight skirt and her equally tight and extremely low-cut tank top revealed just about all there was to see of her two lavishly tattooed breasts. I couldn't help thinking she looked a little out of places shopping at Macy's. But when she walked up to me and asked if she could help me I couldn't believe it. She actually worked there! How on earth did she get hired? Doesn't Macy's have some sort of dress code for their employees? Apparently not.

But as usually turns out to be the case when we are forced to confront the reality behind the people we tend to stereotype, she turned out to be far different from the person I - in my unfortunate tendency to be judgmental - had initially taken her to be.

She greeted me warmly with a lovely smile that made me overlook the shiny black lipstick she was wearing and asked if she could help me find something. I told her I was looking for a gift for my dad, and then to my horror I felt my eyes fill up with tears and I just stood there hoping she wouldn't notice. But she had noticed and to my amazement she reached out and lightly placed her hand on my arm. I noticed that she was wearing a metal bracelet that looked like it had been purchased in a hardware store, and each of her fingers was tattooed with a letter to spell out the word L-O-V-E.

"Is your dad sick?" she asked with a genuine look of compassion in her eyes. So I told her that yes, as a matter of fact he is indeed very sick and we are afraid it's Alzheimer's. "I'm so sorry," she said and something about the way she said it made me think she really meant it.

I told her I was looking for a sweater, a cardigan perhaps, but it had to be something he could put on easily because buttons were a problem for him.

"I think I know the perfect thing," she said, motioning for me to follow her past racks of overpriced merchandise to the back of the store where things were less pricey. She picked up a dark gray sweater with large buttons and big buttonholes. "I practically live in this sweater in the winter time," she said, adding that she likes to shop in the men's department for warm clothes. And then I noticed that sure enough, she was in fact wearing the same sweater. It just hadn't been that obvious - given the short skirt and low-cut tank top beneath it.

So I bought the sweater and while she was wrapping it in tissue, she looked at me and said, "I don't know if you're into prayers or not, but I am. And so I want you to know that from now on whenever I wear this same sweater I'll say a little prayer for your dad."

I gave my dad the sweater for Christmas last year.

Of all the gifts I've ever given him something tells me perhaps this one was the most important.

Thanksgiving 2010

We give thanks for the beauty of creation.....

" Garden steps" M. Beek

.... for human life, for common hopes and hardships,

and the joy we find in loving others,

.....for work to do and the strength to do it,

.....for laughter, companionship and support...

For children:

for their energy and curiosity, for their brave play and startling frankness,

for their sudden sympathies....

For the young:

for their high hopes and dreams, their craving for freedom and adventure, and

their bold experiments as they try to figure out who they are and what

direction to follow...

For the old:

for their passion for what is significant, their growth in wisdom

deepened by experience, and the lessons they are learning

about letting go...

For all of us as we move through our lives:

for help in time of doubt and sorrow, for safety in times of danger,

for rest in times of leisure, and for time itself made precious by

its passing...

For courage and compassion,

for integrity and mindfulness,

And for the insights we find in the spiritual traditions that nurture us....

"Buddha" Laura Lian

...let us give thanks on this Thanksgiving.

Slowing Down for October

As a devoted reader of The Sun Magazine, I was delighted to see that the theme of October's issue was "slowing down," which struck me as being particularly appropriate for this particular time of year.

As a matter of fact, the prospect of slowing down was what prompted me to schedule a few days at Coyote Springs Cottage, hidden away in the rolling hills of Northeast Iowa.

So naturally I made sure that The Sun went along with me and since I always turn to the last page first to read over the quotes that fit the theme for the month, several of them jumped out at me right away. Like this one: "...it is only when there is no goal and no rush that the human senses are fully open to receive the world." (Alan Watts)

It's definitely worth stopping the rush that gets in the way of what our sense can reveal to us about Autumn! Things like this......

Coyote Springs Cottage was once a two storey farmhouse that was home to a family of seven. Built in the mid 19th century by an Irish immigrant, it gradually fell into near ruin until it was rescued and beautifully restored by its present owner who rents it at a very reasonable cost to people like me who want to slow down and take advantage of the loveliness of October.

It was good to have a chance to spend several days there being a hermit since I have learned to value what can happen during times of silence and solitude. I think it sharpens the senses and helps us be more alert to what's going on around us....




Spending time in solitude is also a chance to move inside - both literally and figuratively -- in order to ponder and reflect on things we might not otherwise take the time to think about....

Solitude is probably what Fanny Fern had in mind when she said: ""I am convinced that there are times in everybody's experience when there is so much to be done, that the only way to to do it is to sit down and do nothing." That's definitely what I found most rewarding about the time I spent at Coyote Springs Cottage. It was a chance to step aside from what has been keeping me so busy lately in order to do nothing for a while....except pay attention to what I probably would have missed out on otherwise.

feeling sheepish

When my friend Lissa asked us if we wanted to go along to this year’s Sheep and Wool Festival in Jefferson, Wisconsin it sounded like a great idea. Not only was it a beautiful day to be outdoors enjoying the autumn sunshine, but it also gave us a chance to wander around for a few hours, fascinated by shepherds and border collies…

sheep ….

people who raise them ….

and shear them…..

and turn wooly fleeces into gorgeous skeins of brightly colored yarn.

I could have spent the whole day at the border collie field trials watching the shepherds whistling to their dogs or shouting out verbal signals – “come by me…lay down…away by me…that’ll do…”



Meanwhile, the dogs obviously love nothing as much as the thrill of herding sheep. As soon as they’re given the command “go get sheep” off they go at a gallop, tearing madly across the field in a huge arc in order to come up behind their charges and avoid spooking them.



It was fascinating to watch them as they carefully maneuvered the sheep from the far end of the field, through the gates and into the pen. And although technically the shepherds were calling the shots, there was no doubt that the dogs knew exactly what they were supposed to be doing because they’ve been born to look after sheep and it’s been that way for a long, long time. I think that’s one reason I was so captivated by the whole spectacle…..just the realization that human beings, dogs and sheep have been communicating this way for centuries and so far technology hasn’t been able to come up with a better way of doing it.



The same thing is true of what happens when it’s time for sheep shearing. It’s done in pretty much the same way as it’s always been done – except that now there are electric shears to make it easier for both the sheep and the shearer.


I spent over an hour watching David Kier, a professional sheep shearer from California who makes his living traveling all over the country shearing flocks of sheep…a profession that’s probably nearly as old as the other oldest profession on earth! As I watched his demonstration it occurred to me that I was learning more than I’ll ever need to know about sheep shearing techniques and how to handle both the fleece and the sheep that it’s being taken from.



When it was time to leave for home I had already made a mental note about making sure to come back again next year….and perhaps sign up for one of the many classes that are offered on everything from spinning and weaving to how to handle a newly shorn fleece. It’s just another example of how wonderful it is that there is such a wide variety of things to learn in this life and so many ways to be passionate about the things that interest us.

Blogging?

It’s been some time since I’ve written anything for my blog and it will probably be just as long before I get back to it again. It’s because I am trying to follow some advice I picked up last June at the Iowa Writers Festival. On the last day of class the instructor reminded us that it’s important to make time each day to write. Following a spirited discussion about how hard that is to do given the fact that life keeps getting in the way, we all calmed down and started sharing some tips for keeping the busy-ness of our lives from interfering with our writing projects. Naturally, the subject of blogs came up.



Not everyone in the group was convinced blogging is such a good idea. Some of us wonder if maybe it ends up being one more distraction that gets in the way of our other writing projects. By the time I’ve written what I want to say and figured out how to make the damn thing look the way I want it to look by adding links and photos, I’m usually appalled at how long it’s taken. And so I end up with even less time for the other writing I want to be doing.



On the other hand…the faithful bloggers in my workshop claimed it lets them exercise their writing muscles on a regular basis. They said blogging encourages them to observe and pay closer attention to what’s going on around them so they can turn it into a blog post. And finally, they like the fact that blogging gives them a head start on ideas they can come back to later since blog posts can be edited, revised, expanded upon, polished and turned into articles, poems, essays, short stories, memoirs, or just about anything a writer might want to turn out.



As for me….the jury’s still out. It’s nearly September and I haven’t posted anything since April. That’s pretty clear evidence that I don’t have the kind of lifestyle (not to mention the discipline) needed to be a faithful blogger. But I love to write, almost as much as I love to read, and one way or another on most days I usually manage to do both. I doubt if my blog will ever replace the journal I’ve been keeping for the past 30 or so years. And I’ve been accumulating a jumble of notes and jottings about a couple of ideas that are begging to be written about. Because I have to admit that having had one book published is a little like getting one tattoo. You just naturally want to do it again. (And I know what I’m talking about – having done both!)



Having spent far too much time trying to get the following information centered under the graphics that appear in this post, I’ll do it this way instead:
“A Matter of Time” Kathleen Patrick
“Blogging Woman” free clip art
“the Time” Giovanni Rapti
“Edith Wharton at her writing desk” from the Beinecki Library, Rm 26
“Man Getting a Tattoo” free clip art